I don't think you're going to have much luck by using particles alone to be honest. Not if you're wanting it to look realistic and are doing a close-up shot.
At the extreme end (ie: hyper-real) you're going to need to look at a proper fluid simulator like Real-Flow (not cheap).
At the other end of the scale, I seem to recall a recent copy of 3D world magazine had an article on making a reasonably decent fountain with geometry and animated textures - this route may be slightly better for you - simulate the main pouring fluid with geometry and particles. With some clever morphing and surfacing you could then model the liquid forming into the glass over time...
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