unfortunately you can't instance in modeler, but you can mirror the object, make sure you mirror across the X axis, and turn symmetry on.
To merge vertices either hit "m" or weld them manually; select vertices, hit "ctrl-w" (the last selected vertex will determine the location of the welded one).
Switching from max to LW is pretty hard at the beginning, but once you have the basic tools and workflow down, you will discover LW to be very fast... hang in there.
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